Empathy or Social Anxiety

Could you imagine living in a world where nothing is expected of you, where you don’t think about the other persons thoughts and you have this ability to create with out fear. Does this place- reality exist?

They say it’s attainable if you have thick skin, but it’s vulnerability that teaches you everything about that-your world within.

My greatest strength has been my sensitivity, some call this empathy, some think it’s a form of weakness and others confuse it with anxiety but in my reality this is me.

I can write, I can dream, although it all seems so perfectly put together in my head, the words just crumble when I speak, as if I were walking backwards with the thought of trying to get ahead. -Yedismindūüí≠

When it’s time to quit your job.

“I officially broke up with my 9 to 5. I didn’t want to, I NEEDED to.” -Yedismind

Quitting your job is never an easy thing to do, especially when you have bills to pay. Ask the average joe and they will tell you how unrealistic you are for thinking that your dreams will actually bring home the bacon, considering you don’t¬†really have a legitimate plan, not one that looks good on paper anyway. But let me tell you I waited many years, many years too long for the right moment, for the right plan, for the right reasons. I spent countless of hours researching the best way to make this transition and each day I found myself more and more anxious and unhappy with my career. I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself, and even though the signs were clear, and I was being pushed out of several jobs, I would ignore them and convinced myself to stay put and try to shift my perspective.

I would TRY to engage more, change my to-do lists, come in earlier, leave later to try to eliminate any extra work that may have had an effect on my performance. I even thought maybe I needed to focus on my fitness to have more energy. I thought maybe I need to be more positive, see the good in my situation, be grateful for my job and the salary I did bring home. Even after all the effort, it all just felt meaningless, I felt lost and I felt inauthentic. Overall I found myself in a repeating cycle, feeling unappreciated, overworked and miserably hidden.

It’s interesting to look back and see something reoccur over and over, even when you change the people, change the location, change the job and yet the lesson never changes. For me, this is one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way. It not that I wasn’t doing the right things, I just wasn’t doing enough for myself, I had all my eggs in one basket, a basket that didn’t even belong to me. Each day I felt as if something¬†kept tugging at my soul and would just ignore the signs and I waited until that very last minute, I had reached my breaking point.

On my last days of work, I literally felt suffocated and burnt out it was so bad it caused a panic attack and in that moment I could hear divine-universe speaking to me in a way that could not be ignored, not this time. What it said to me was, “You are being pushed out of these places for a reason, for a greater purpose and I will not let you settle and I will not let you fail so if you don’t make this decision on your own, you will be pushed out regardless. Don’t¬†be afraid you know exactly what you need, what you want and how you’re going to get there.”¬†For me, that was validation and that was the reassurance¬†that I had been waiting for my whole entire life it seems. Along with this beautiful message, came this one…textgram_1505929084.png

Today I am present and I am embracing my journey one that I shall share with you all! I encourage you all to do the same because you are deserving, you have a purpose and you have the right to live, LIVE FEARLESSLY & PASSIONATELY! Sending you all much love and light. ‚ô•

” Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you” – Jim Carrey¬†

My dream on the day of the eclipse.

In continuation of my previous post Total Solar Eclipse¬†in LAS VEGAS, I mentioned that the eclipse might have had an influence on my dream that morning, here it goes…


I was climbing a 3 story building and made my way to a balcony. I was with someone but don’t recall who it was but they had jumped off and told me to do the same but I was too scared so I decided to knock on the tenant’s window to use their front door and made up a story as to why I was I was there. I said something like “I live upstairs and I dropped something” they believed me at first until they saw me take off running and end up finding out that I was lying and so they reported it to the government up in outer space. Which caused the higher ups to put a hit out on earth. These would be the last days, and sure enough, the sky gets dark, and missiles start lighting up the sky, and there are explosions everywhere, and I of course was the target. ¬†I remember running for my life like there was no tomorrow LITERALLY. ¬†

Shortly after I end up finding Shakira’s Apartment, which happened to be in the neighborhood I grew up in. I walk in and felt some what safe, but then looked around and it was filthy and I thought to myself, “hmmm I think she’s a gypsy…(Idk why) I think I got to get out of here”. I was only there a few minutes and then I walked out as she followed and next thing you know she turns into a zombie and starts going after me. I then run to find another place and all the other apartments were full, and no one wanted to let me in because apparently, the world was ending because of me. The explosions got closer and much louder.

Soon enough I wake up in real life to really loud thunder, the loudest thunder I’ve heard in a very long time which shook my house and dimmed my lights. The sky was dark, and the rain was pouring. I was still in a trance and all I could think of was this dream. I wondered if I today, on the day of the Eclipse,¬†would actually be the last day of life on earth. It was the scariest feeling, the dream already felt real enough and then to wake up to this.

Oh¬†heck¬†no I can tell you one thing, that felt like a wake-up call! That there told me, that I need to get my survival skills on point! Had it been the last day, I would have not been ready to drop everything and go! This is something we easily ignore, but the way that things are going, and the way the earth is treated, we may never know how much time we have left. That’s why I thin kit’s important that we value our existence each and every day! Like they say, tomorrow isn’t¬†promised. So let’s make the best of today!

Until next time beauties! Thank you for reading.